full of emotions. how i cannot love her.

evantaubenfeld:

cu·mu·la·tive

[kyoo-myuh-luh-tiv, -ley-tiv]

adjective

1.

increasing or growing by accumulation or successive additions: the cumulative effect of one rejection after another.

2.

formed by or resulting from accumulation or the addition ofsuccessive parts or elements.

3.

of or pertaining to interest or dividends that, if not paidwhen due, become a prior claim for payment in the future  

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just done talking to my sweet tooth. i was a bit sad because my sweet tooth went offline quite early. i love my sweet tooth but, i can’t tell anything about my feelings because i know it’s not nice to. my sweet tooth treats me as a friend and i am same to. i just really don’t know what is happening to me. i always looking forward everyday to see lots of messages from my sweet tooth. i can’t imagine my day without receiving a message and i really miss my sweet tooth everyday. sometimes, i can’t handle what i am feeling inside..i felt like i am gonna explode any moment that we’re talking. i dunno,..i know it’s not right. i should keep my feelings and be a good friend to my sweet tooth. i don’t want to ruin everything what we started. 

listening to cinnamon and vanilla by E.T

I danced and played along to the songs that you like. I hugged every detailed of you. I dreamed that soon you’ll realise my existence into your life, but it never happened. I am waiting for you the utter the words that I am longing to hear. I stand by you even your darkest days and care a lot how you feel, even you didn’t care bout my feelings. I did listened to you but when I tried to speak, it doesn’t make sense to you. I dunno how long I could be like this. If everything that I worked for is worth everything, I will stay like this and be like this for a lifetime to see you happy.

gotta blast now.

listening to Waiting by E.T

I always liked this song..Ocean size of love.

Bunch of things did happened to me these past few days, I dunno where to start. Let’s begin at the revelation,..it was something that is really startled me and fainted bout. it was just another thing and step for me to realize everything was just a daydream. I never thought after the tremendous revelation, the acceptance is next.

I was struggling for words to say and the word “Apology” was flying around in my head. It was the time that my heart beat dropped to zero when I am already cornered. Tons of questions had been asked and finding the right answer. It was like the same thing that happened before, but this thing is different. “I am nearly loosing her”, but I kept holding and tied up the words for her to hold on to. It’s like a do or die. I took a risk, knowing she will know everything. I didn’t hesitated to follow my happiness.. If I didn’t do what is right,..I will loose everything that I’ve started and I know it can  make everything really worst.

Today, things are running smoothly. I just can’t believe that these thing is happening. It was like, I am always looking forward every night knowing that person will come. After what happened,..I thought everything will vanish, but I was wrong. I can see clearly everything and I can tell myself that I am not in the middle of my daydream. “I could only think of you, and nothing else”.

I gotta blast now!

(Listening to Story of Me and You by E.T)